Should I be worried?

I was typing in "cakelove" into google (my newest Everest is baking cakes from scratch) when the history showed "can I take a rottweiler to Ireland?"

Uh, Steve, do you need to tell me something?

(I've told Steve he can get a rottweiler when I'm dead. His latest school project involved creating a fake person. Steve drew up a 67 year old widower with a rottweiler named Heinrich who was looking to retire in Ireland.)

I think there is such a thing as planning TOO far ahead.

Where did the time go?

It recently hit me that Adam will turn 1 in a few weeks. Where did the time go?

My brother left for his mission a few days after Adam was born and that's how I keep track of how long Daniel's been gone. While he is serving the Lord, he's missed Adam growing up. So here are a few recent pics for you, Elder Dizzle Gruwell.

This is what kept us up at night for weeks. The repeated scene of , " Adam pulls himself up in the crib. Adam gets stuck and cries. Mom or Dad help him down. Adam sits up and pulls himself up." START SEQUENCE OVER



No "Dada" or "Mama" yet, but lots of "Haaaaaa" as this is his deep, manly laugh. His first word, "Uh oh." All too appropriate.



Out of the the million toys your child has, you never know which one they will designate as their favorite. When Adam was a few months old, he had to hold your finger in order to fall asleep. We considered buying a fake hand to provide some relief but Halloween was long since over. One desperate night I threw this pink snugly bear that had been Shannon's but she never used.

Sleep, beautiful.

Next night it worked again. Why mess with success? Now this pink bear is the second thing packed, behind medications, when we go on trips. I've purchased a white snugly, but it's just not the same. This pink bear, combined with his love of Shannon's pink magic wand has us a bit concerned.



Eating. This boy takes his meals seriously. You'd better have some finger foods waiting on the tray before you put him in his high chair or he kicks it into high drama.

A memorable, but not too out of the ordinary, day was when we were in Pittsburgh visiting Mel. I fed Adam a big bowl of rice cereal with applesauce and a banana for breakfast. We went to a diner for breakfast and Adam proceeded to eat an entire pancake, sausage, then drink the syrup bottle.

Not surprising, but notable...Adam and Shannon were given the same amount of smoothie at the same time and guess who finished theirs' first?

No need to plan a birthday party for this year. If there's cake, he'll be one happy birthday boy. Maybe we'll even hold off on presents until next year.

Love you Daniel!

Jail Break

She finally lost it and busted out.

Oh who are we kidding? This is Lindsey we are talking about; the girl who has no poker face. Yesterday the docs surprised Lindsey by granting her a pass to the outside world. She had asked for permission to go outside at night, just to walk around, but they went one step above and told her to get out and never come back. So, after more than an month in room #7 of the bone marrow floor, Lindsey finally spent the night in her own bed at the Target House; her home away from home. She'll still be under the same strict rules enforced while on the transplant floor but no more nurses checking in at all hours of the night. But best of all, this means she is progressing on the road to recovery...and surprising docs along the way.

Now the plan is to remain virus and infection free and wait for those all too important B and T cells to come in, thus ending the low bacteria diet and providing her with an immune system.

Hangin' at the Hosptial

*I wrote this post while in Memphis, but didn't finish it until today. We are LOVING our new home and will post pics when the boxes are unpacked.


We've been taking it pretty easy this week. Loads of trying to keep Lindsey from reaching her maximum boredom level. Loads of Skip Bo. Loads of pressuring Lindsey to eat the highest caloric foods we can find to ward off TPN.

My bone marrow should start popping up on labs around day 21.


Mom handed me two cards the other day. One contained tear jerking thank you notes from Mom, Dad, and Lindsey. The other was a beautiful cream envelope with a green boarder and pineapple. You know what that means...

WILLIAM & SONOMA! AHHH!

It was spent before it touched my fingers. My dream 14 cup cuisianrt food processor. Just in time to make gallons of pesto to freeze for winter and enjoy some homemade hummus with grilled pita bread this summer. My biggest challenge will be conquering pie crust.

Least you feel too sorry for me, let me tell you about some of the happenings around St Jude.

Monday = facial and visit from some crazy grown men dressed like green bugs and a queen.It's good to be KingDid I mention Adam is deep into his separation anxiety phase?

Tuesday = Bayou dinner provided (gumbo, jambalaya, banana pudding).

Wednesday = manicure and William & Sonoma dinner and carnival (karaoke, craft, and face painting). Thursday = Bingo with ALSAC. They are too good to us around here. I know it's time to go home when Shannon's starting to complain about the free stuff.

"MMMMOOOOMMMM I wanted the Holiday classic Barbie, no the Forest Princess one."

But she loves it now.

Saturday...unlimited carousel rides.

Monday...Splash Pad and catch up with old friends.

This is how we roll

(When this post was written, the rolling had just begun. Now he's crawling and I don't think it will be too long before he starts walking. Where did my baby go? Or as some of you are thinking, " Who ATE my baby?)

Tuesday...Back to The Meadows
Surreal. For those of you who don't know, we lived at the Meadows for all 3 years of law school. When we left, we never looked back (Sorry, don't miss the 40 year old aspiring singer who lived below us and would "practice" at 1:30 am or his partially deaf wife who would blare the TV until our walls shook all while she smoked 10 packs of cigarettes and filled our apartment with smoke. Good times) But we do miss the friends in our Bartlett 2 ward. Jayden and Shannon were born days apart and seem to share a special bond that only Nov 2004 babies can.
The rest of the time not spent at the hospital or playing around Memphis was spent in the Target House (half the time we were treating Shannon's constipation...again, Good Times).
Adam learned to open and unload cabinets...

While Shannon tried to convince me she was overworked by moping from floor from the couch while watching TV (although I give her props for multi tasking. Now, if she had only moped more than a 2 sq ft area...)

Spoiled! But who am I to talk as I look at my beautiful nails whilst I type this post.

Can't talk now. Gotta go!

No time now for bloggin'!

The Hodgen crew arrived safely in Birmingham after almost 3 weeks in Memphis.

Time to reestablish a routine and give the kids some much needed stability?

Uh, NO!

It was hard to convince Shannon that we hadn't moved to Memphis. Now I'm trying to help her wrap her 4 year old mind around the fact that we are moving homes in Birmingham.

We have a 10 day window to switch stuff and clean. But with my slow recovery process and Adam's separation anxiety, we will most likely need all that time.

Quick update on Lindsey...Transplant was May 29th = day 0. To know what day post transplant she is, just add 2. Today is June 9th + 2= day 11. They suspect that around day 21 they should start seeing my bone marrow cells popping up. Other than that they are trying to keep her virus and bacteria free. Thus far they have describe her as the ideal patient both physically and in attitude. I miss you Lindsey! I'm going through Skip Bo withdrawl!

Bone Marrow Buddies

Lindsey has been on the bone marrow transplant floor for 1 week now. The rules are strictly obeyed on this floor, which means no little ones. Communication is done in a fish bowl that reminds me of methods used during prison visitations. Shannon is not a big fan of being left out, especially when it comes to Lindsey.

But the objective is to keep people out, unlike prison where we want them to stay put. I'm sure Lindsey has felt like bustin' out on more than one occasion. This one week has been jam packed with variety as well as boredom, all at the same time. Her first 2 days were high dose chemo. She went out with a bang though and will never have to get chemo again! She already says that even looking at someone walking the halls with their IV pole makes her sick. Tuesday through Friday was total body irradiation to wipe out the remainder of her bone marrow. These were her first and last radiation treatments, which means she got a small NO MO RADIATION celebration.
On the other side of the spectrum...the boredom. The same 4 walls every hour of every day. We have become masters at skip bo, but the many buses parked across the street that never leave are starting to annoy Lindsey. On the other hand, she has fellow inmate to transplant and LDS member, Emma, to drag her out of her room to the playroom for a bit of fresh air (even though you are require to wear a filtering mask when you leave your room)Or Lindsey might beat the boredom with a rousing game of I SPY.But one of the hardest changes about being under the care of the bone marrow team was saying good bye to the guidance of Dr Pui, a world renowned oncologist whose care over the past 11 years has gotten Lindsey into remission 3 times despite her bodies rebellion. He still stops in 3 times a week to keep the transplant docs on their toes (because EVERYONE is scared of Ching-hon) and visit his favorite patient. We miss you Dr Pui!

May 29, 2009
What an emotional day. The night before the transplant Steve gave me a blessing that made me breakdown after being so robotic about this whole situation. I felt the weight of the significance of the last 11 years. How hard we had fought to avoid what was about to happen, yet how at peace we were with this decision. How Lindsey is now almost the exact age I was when I first received the phone call from my parents telling me Lindsey's never ending virus was in fact leukemia. So many ups and downs; so many times thinking we were done; so many miracles. My shoulders were heavy as I felt as though we were finishing one book and immediately starting a new one with an unknown storyline. Yet here we were, staring down a new giant with new hopes and and new fears. Did we have the energy to face the new guy?

Answer: HECK YEAH!

I woke up at 4 am on May 29th; was to Methodist University Hospital by 5 am and doing this by 6 am.

"Yes, Dad...we're at the hospital. Go back to bed."

The first of many sticks, but I was too excited to feel any pain.

I had only one moment of heart racing, sudden rush of heat, fear. It came when I was being wheeled to the OR suite, watching the rectangular lights above whirling past me. I turned to see the blaring lights of an OR, you know, the huge circular ones they move around to focus on the site. That's when it hit me that I was actually having surgery. But then I remember the conversations of surrounding patients in the pre-op room...one lady screaming for a pastor, another saying it was her birthday, and another asking what the biopsy revealed. Sadly enough, this was calming as I realized that only good could come out of this experience.

The Results = 800 cc of precious bone marrowThe actual transplant. Kinda looks like a blood transfustion, except with heart monitors and epi taped to the window.Why I had to stay an extra few hours (too much drainage)A Perfect 10! 10 sticks to get the max amount of bone marrow. Either my right side was more giving or the surgeon on the right worked a bit more quickly than his partner on the left. Lindsey's holding up like a pro but the next couple weeks are critical. We especially need prayers that the graft will take and that her B and T cells will start producing like wild fire. Thank you for all your support.

Memphis in May

Memphis in May is a world wide BBQ championship, but for me it equals transplant time.

Lindsey is in remission and we're both getting our testing to prepare for the big event. The kids and I arrived in Memphis Tuesday night. After meeting with the transplant surgeon and almost donating blood(a story for another time), my week is done.

Lindsey will be admitted to the transplant floor Saturday, get chemo for a few days, radiation for a few days, then on Friday I'll go in bright and early for my donation and she'll be transfused later that day. They asked me to stay put until then, which means spending lots of time with the newest Memphisians (the Pitchers) and revisiting all of our favorite former spots.

We ask for your prayers during this crazy and critical time.